doctor voice hello yes im here returning your call about scheduling! ^_^ so the next appointment we have is tomorrow at 4am. after that the earliest we can get you in is december 2025... either of those sound good to you?
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I want to write. I have ideas. I open document. I type four of the worst sentences ever created in the english language. I daydream the rest of the scene. I close document.
Today I accidentally knocked a monarch caterpillar off its leaf and it fell and immediately began oozing green liquid. I was devastated. I thought I'd killed it. Turns out they do that on purpose to defend against predators. Fooled by a fat little worm. Irrecoverable
you have to pretend to be a wizard sometimes, for your health. the obvious method is d&d, but you can also open the dishwasher on cold mornings and raise your arms dramatically as you're enveloped in the steam, or you can find a really good stick to walk around in the woods with, or you can run a bizarrely dedicated rp blog on tumblr. but it's an important component of human well being to occasionally pretend to be a wizard.
Every time a real-life man in the flesh opens his mouth to speak, I d*e a little more inside.
A FEW OF MY (CURRENT) FAVORITE PHRASES (or phrases I am testing out and already know they’re going to be added to my vocabulary):
Any variation of “feral” or anything subsequently implying that I am a caged animal:
- Rattling the bars of my enclosure
- Gnawing on a bone
- Claw marks in the curtains
- God put some enrichment in my enclosure
Teehee
PAUSE (emphatically, with vigor, holding your hands up in a stop motion while doing so)
Biting my fist/eating my fist
For fun, as a little treat